Still Working on that Great Masterpiece…

Just like any other girl growing up, I wanted to be:

  1. A gymnast – Not coordinated enough.
  2. An ice skater – Saw my friend break her head open on the ice, get stitches and I was done.
  3. An actress – Still haven’t made my big break, but haven’t auditioned since I was in elementary school.
  4. A novelist – Started one in high school and haven’t looked at it since I went to college.
  5. A photographer – Not sure where to start and make this happen but still taking pictures.
  6. An artist – Acrylics, watercolors, mixed media, landscapes and flowers…why haven’t I tried harder???

Looking at this list, photography and art are still semi-attainable in my mind but I definitely need to keep my day job.

I feel so silly wanting my childhood dream job to come true! But now that I understand the state of economy (kind of) and what it is to be an adult (almost? not really…), it just doesn’t make sense for me to try and go after my dreams of being a full-time artist/photographer. Security at this point in my life is too important. Planning for retirement is crucial for me after my “Quarter-Life Crisis” occurred a few weeks ago.

But, that should not stop me of still picking up one of my paintbrushes right now and finishing that landscaping painting I started last week. A few weeks ago, I went on a shopping trip for paint supplies. Similar to those, “If I buy this new pair of workout pants, then I’ll want to workout more” false motivations, I bought my fresh primary colors and a pallet knife to make myself paint more. Clearly that motivation lasted for one day and I still have yet to use the pallet knife.

As I stare at my cup full of brushes, pens, and pencils along with the box full of paints on the floor, I feel that little bubble of excitement start in my stomach. Then I scroll up and down the draft of this post and the words give me a little hope for that novel.

Yes, that day job I love is going to stick around and that may make me ordinary during the week but this weekend, I might get creative with my pallet knife and finish the landscape painting to the left of my desk. I feel an adventure of color and texture coming on…

Intro to being Ordinary

How much pressure do you feel everyday? An intensity drifts through the air that always comes down to whether or not you succeed. So much comes from different directions…your supervisor, coworkers, teammates, significant others, parents, and society in general.

Videos are going viral everyday and the internet is making it hard for me to keep up with who is the current “big thing”… It is absolutely exhausting!!!

Escaping my embarrassment for the moment to make a confession: I studied marketing. Yes, I spent four, almost five years, on an area that I find to be overwhelming. My professors in college were absolutely fantastic and insightful and current with the times, so maybe it’s just me who finds Twitter too demanding and Instagram a race for the perfect filter.

Well, to put it simply, I did not become a marketing wizard (though I would like to think that one day I’ll get some awesome super power or finally get that letter from Hogwarts). I am an absolutely ordinary college graduate who did not end up with a fantastic “perfect match to their degree” job, but my current job is fantastic! That first job out of college was a nightmare, but this job is absolutely wonderful and I am so happy with life right now.

There is no extra effort being put toward that novel my mom believes I will write some day or research into more “career-focused opportunities” as the love of my life would say. Eventually, I get to the point where I feel guilty that I haven’t achieved these things for them and especially guilty that I am happy with the job I passionately interviewed for.

How terrible it is to be ordinary.

But I want to embrace it – at least here. Away from the judgement of not striving to exceed their expectations. (Funny how that sentence just made me feel like I let them down.)

So here I will write about the beautiful ordinary things that happen, like turning on the TV to workout and I catch the very start of Gilmore Girls or how I just read a great book (Outlander – read it, read it now.).

Hopefully someone out there can relate or enjoy this collection of ordinary thoughts.